You're Only Hurting Yourself And Your Kids With A No-Screen Time Policy

This morning, my son dressed himself in typical school attire, save for a pair of tall socks with $100 bills printed across them. They're his favorite, most expressive footwear, and today called for them. It's "spirit week," which coincides with his school's Digital Citizenship Education program. The paper he brought home stated, "Wear wacky socks to show how you are careful with your digital footprint."

As a parent, I'm grateful he's exploring things like cyberbullying and information literacy with his teacher and peers. When he's curious to know something, he asks me to "Search it up" and can spot reliable sources. He can even sense when a video game is becoming too frustrating (and often turns it off, unprompted). But navigating the digital world with confidence and discernment didn't start at school. We've been integrating screens and having family discussions about technology for years. Implementing a no-screen-time policy ignores the reality that tech is woven into nearly every aspect of our lives — and this policy can often cause more harm than good. 

I'm not saying he's perfectly regulated all the time (what third grader is?). However, difficult mornings before school are rare for us, and when it's time for homework or bed, screens go off without a tantrum. I firmly believe it's because we chose to avoid limiting screens or making them our primary form of entertainment (we also read a lot). In fact, in a Johns Hopkins Medicine article, Dr. Jennifer Katzenstein explained how too much or too little technology can increase the risk of depression in kids — especially teens. "There could be a component of social withdrawal when teens are not on social media and that prevents them from engaging with their peers the way that other peers are," she said.

Although it can be done, the strict standard of no screen time during childhood is outdated, and in many cases, logistically impossible. A new parent on Reddit noted they intended to raise their child screen-free, but introduced it after discovering it was difficult to get any tasks done. "She's such a good girl but she literally wants to me to hold her 24/7 or playing with her which makes it hard for me to eat breakfast, wash dishes or any other basic chores," they said. However, parents who limit screen time often report some drawbacks, like the father on Reddit who noted his children appeared to have slightly weaker language skills than their peers.

Even the American Academy of Pediatrics, which once recommended no screen exposure for babies younger than 2, updated its guidelines in 2016 to reflect the growing pervasiveness of technology in family life. Today, the AAP offers no hard rule, but rather, a set of guidelines called the "5 Cs" (child, content, calm, crowding out, and communication). The 5 Cs seem closely aligned with what I built instinctively within my family. Using the "calm" guideline, I noticed my son could self-soothe fairly regularly as a baby, and I could turn the TV off when I was ready (without it becoming a crutch). Other parents focus on the "content" guideline to ensure that what their children watch is appropriate and engaging. "Screens and digital content are the future of this world," another father at r/daddit said. "They'll be using computers and tablets from the first grades of school now, so they should be proficient in operating them."