The Playdate Rule That Makes Hosting Feel Less Like A Job

Playdates are a time-honored tradition among parents who want to help their children develop social skills and make friends. (And, let's face it, it's nice to be able either to hang with fellow moms or to enjoy some me-time if you're dropping your child off.) But being a playdate host can feel like an added dose of stress. Is your house clean enough? Do you have to keep the kids entertained? What if your guests overstay their welcome?

One parent-approved way to make playdates low-key is to keep them short — and set the time frame upfront: "I'd love to have you and Callie come over from 2 to 3." An hour is a reasonable limit for babies and toddlers, and as a test run for older children; once you've successfully established a short hangout, you can offer a longer one. One mom on Reddit has seen the success of scheduling short play dates, thanks to her close friend. "Right up front she will set a time limit like, 'Hey, want to meet up at the park? We're going to go from 12-1.' Then it's crystal clear what's expected, and it feels less ambiguous — and then less pressure — than saying, 'Hey, want to meet up at the park around noon?'"

Speaking of parks, other moms online find them a perfect alternative to hosting in their home. You can bring a bag of snacks and a few outdoor toys (like cars for the sandbox) and let the kids run around without worrying about cleaning up a mess afterward.

Seasoned playdate hosts know the advantages of keeping their get-togethers short. In addition to minimizing the chaos, an hour-long limit also eliminates the anxiety over making your place presentable. A quick vacuuming and decluttering of surfaces is really all you need. The arrangement also reduces the chances of meltdowns and lets you and your guests stay close to your normal schedule; no worries about serving dinner late or extending bedtime.

This time frame works equally well whether you're into free play or prefer to offer specific activities.  One dad on Reddit declares, "I say let the kids have fun. You can have a clean Instagram house when they're older." Preschoolers may do better with a structured playtime; developmental therapist Meredith White, M.S., explains to JCFS Chicago that this age group thrives on routine and expectations. She suggests creating a visual schedule with photos or drawings to explain what will happen during the time at your house. For instance, you could start with an art project like Spirograph, that '60s toy that's still a great screen-free activity. Follow up with some backyard playtime or dancing to videos like Danny GO!. A snack, a quick story, and call it a day.

If your guests show signs of lingering, there are polite ways of getting the point across. Another Redditor offers a clever take: "My strategy is to say something to the kids first like, 'Okay guys, we have about 20 minutes of playtime before xx has to leave,' and go to the mom and say, 'Can I get you a water before you guys head out?' It lets me be in control, and no one feels offended."