How To Help A Child Who Is Falling Behind Without Fighting Every Night

When parents notice their child is having difficulty with certain subjects or homework in general, it's natural they might immediately jump in with suggestions and homework help. However, this well-meaning impulse might not be as well-received by their child. Fortunately, parents can be proactive without getting locked in a nightly power struggle.

Take a step back, and look at the after-school routine. "After a full school day, practice and activities, many kids sit down to homework without having had a single unstructured minute," Dr. Willough Jenkins, a child psychiatrist at Rady Children's Health informed Mom exclusively. "Their brains need time to rest and play before they can focus again." While free time between school and homework is valuable, Dr. Jenkins also suggests not waiting until it's late and everybody's tired. You can also get crucial information by engaging your kids in a discussion about what specific stumbling blocks are leading to them getting overwhelmed.

Dr. Jenkins also advises looking at the length of these struggles. If a kid just switched buildings, like starting middle or high school, they may need a little time to get acclimated to more rigorous expectations. In contrast, "a long pattern that goes back to earlier grades points toward a learning difference or attention issue," she explains. While every kid's learning experiences are unique, if your kid is spending substantially more time on homework than their classmates, more investigation is warranted. In addition, "if your child can do the work with you sitting beside them but can't start it or finish it alone, that points to executive functioning, not their ability," Dr. Jenkins adds.

To help your child keep up with their schoolwork, Dr. Willough Jenkins suggests breaking assignments into intervals as small as five-minutes to make the task more manageable. "Reward initiation, not just completion, since starting is where kids get stuck," she explained to Mom. To help kids track their progress, Dr. Jenkins recommends using a checklist and a timer. These tools are also part of the Pomodoro Technique, where tasks are worked on individually for a designated intervals, with multiple short breaks in between.

Since homework time can also be more fun as a team effort, gathering at a kitchen or dining room table gives kids plenty of workspace and good lighting. "Try side-by-side studying, with you working on your own task at the same table, or buddy studying with a friend on FaceTime who is also doing homework," Dr. Jenkins suggested.

In addition to home efforts, don't hesitate to reach out to professionals, starting with your kids' teacher. "Share how long homework is taking at home, whether this is new or longstanding, and where it breaks down: getting started, understanding the material or turning it in. Then ask what they see in class," Dr. Jenkins advised. "Homework struggles are sometimes the first sign of depression, anxiety, ADHD or a learning difference." If you're concerned, can jot down a list of questions for your pediatrician or a mental health professional, or seek an evaluation for a learning difference through your school district. If your child needs help in a particular subject, private or in-school tutoring services can provide targeted support.