How To Ask About Playdate Safety Without Making It Awkward

If you've ever felt uncomfortable asking another parent safety questions before a playdate, you're far from alone. Only 44% of parents have reached out to inquire about safety risks in a friend's home, according to a C.S. Mott Children's Hospital survey. I, too, have been afraid to ask pointed questions in case my inquiry comes across like a personal attack. It wasn't until a parent asked me directly if I keep guns in my home (the first time that I had ever been asked this) that I realized it's not a negative thing to have an open conversation.

There are plenty of ways to ask safety questions while still keeping it friendly. One approach might be to frame your questions around your own child. For example, we have a large dog, and my child's friend's parent texted me before their first playdate to share that her child has a fear of dogs. Questions you could ask include the dog's history with children and whether it'll be interacting with the kids during the visit.

You may also share that your child isn't a confident swimmer and ask how their pool is set up, including water depth, whether an adult is in charge of monitoring swimming time, and how parents handle restroom breaks. Discussing your concerns may even prompt other parents to start thinking about safety, too. "If anyone is offended by you asking, it's probably not somewhere you want your kids," shared one Reddit parent. You can also help make these conversations feel more routine by explaining that you check in with every family before your child has a playdate.

The most important questions to ask are those that relate to potential hazards in and around the home. In addition to pets and swimming pools, other safety topics include trampolines, access to medications, and even the availability of technology and social media. It's also important to clarify who will be watching your child after you drop them off and whether they will be leaving the home to go anywhere, such as to run errands.

And then there's the biggie — and perhaps most uncomfortable — topic: firearms, and whether they are securely locked away. The parent who asked me this question posed it, along with some other safety topics, so it didn't feel strange that she asked. If a parent's answers leave you feeling uncomfortable, it doesn't mean your child can't see their friend. In fact, one parent on Reddit said she always shares ahead of time that there is a gun in the home, but also tells parents the safety measures they take. "I've only had one person decline a play date and we met up at a park instead and still had a lovely time," the parent said. You could always offer to host at your own home as well. Even if it feels strange at first to ask about safety, you may be surprised that it's not as big a deal as you thought.