No, You Aren't Doing The Wrong Thing By Hiring Childcare Help

The saying "you can't pour from an empty cup" has become a mainstay quote among women — and especially moms — for good reason. We can all agree that self-care is undeniably important. But a 2025 study from Durham University revealed that new moms only get about an hour of rest each day, despite feeling better after having that quality alone time. Unfortunately, when this time requires costly childcare or invokes the ever-present feeling of "mom guilt," it's hard to commit to outsourcing certain parts of your job as a parent. But I'm here to tell you, you are allowed to ask for help. In fact, it will probably even make you a happier and more present mom than you are right now.

After my first was born, I realized I needed some extra hands. My husband and I were living an ocean away from our support network, and his job was high-pressure and high-travel. Plus, I didn't want to let my own career lag. This meant I needed dedicated time to sit and write, ideally uninterrupted, for a couple of hours a day. At the time, we also had an elderly dog who was experiencing major health decline. Because I was struggling with some postpartum anxiety that made it tricky to imagine handing my human baby off to someone I didn't know well, my husband and I agreed to start by offloading all fur baby-related tasks. We added a dog walker to our crew, and the relief was instant. I no longer had to navigate nap time and the schedule of our sweet, mostly immobile pug. That was someone else's job now.

Along with our dog walker, we also had a weekly cleaner, and the combination helped me understand how much easier it was when my focus wasn't perpetually split. Expanding this to childcare took some trial and error, but after our son was born, we found a true extension of our family. Her schedule fit ours perfectly, and for three hours a day, I was able to sit and focus, or tackle the mountain of appointments I'd been putting off. This time also led to more freelance writing work, as well as what I joke will be the birth of my third baby — my debut novel, set for release in 2027. I can sincerely say that without this support system in place, I never would have ventured into the next phase of my career.

I'm also intensely aware that we were lucky to have the resources for these extra helpers, but building a support system doesn't have to look the same for everyone. In my baby group, almost half the new parents invested in a night nurse, which didn't work for us — but it was a lifesaver for them. For a while, we committed to a regular babysitter so we could get out and have a date night once a week. For others, it may be worth it to relieve yourself of the full mental load by sending off laundry, hiring someone to do the meal prepping, or tagging in seasonal help for things like decorating, party planning, and gift wrapping. And in many families, grandparents, siblings, and other loved ones are the people most equipped — and excited — to help. They often just need to be asked.