Can Your Kid Ask Friends For Cash Instead Of Birthday Gifts?

At the risk of sounding ungrateful, the worst part about kids' birthday parties is making room for the pile of random plastic toys and the dreaded three S's (slime, stuffies, and squishies) that your child will mostly forget about in a month or less. For years, I maintained the status quo, buying presents for other kids while growing more exasperated by the excess gifts when it was my kid's turn. The whole thing started to seem like such a racket. I thought gifting cash made way more sense, but it felt tacky on all sides.

My aha moment came when I discovered Canadian toonie parties. Toonies, Canadian $2 coins, were first introduced in 1996, and toonie parties quickly came into vogue as an affordable and sustainable solution to the modern-day plastic toy epidemic. Guests bring one or two toonies for the birthday kid so they can spend their birthday money on something they actually want. Some parties even include a donation cup to toss an extra toonie in for a good cause. 

It turns out there is an American version of toonie parties — the fiver party. Same concept, different currency: Guests bring a $5 bill as their present. It's as easy as putting on the invitation that you are hosting a fiver (or tenner) party, and explain that while gifts aren't expected, guests are welcome to bring a $5 or $10 so the birthday kid can put it toward a gift they are saving for, like a bike, dollhouse, or new console. If the guests' parents are anything like me, they will embrace this idea with open wallets.

While it was easy for me to hop aboard the birthday-cash train, the rise of digital purchases is making cash or gift cards a practical alternative to physical gifts for kids' birthdays, whether we like it or not. By a certain age, many kids are often more interested in Robux, V-Bucks, and Minecoins than the toy aisle. If that's your kid, you can say something like, "[Kid's name] has way too much stuff as it is, but would love a gaming gift card." 

Another unassuming approach is the money-per-age method: "No gifts necessary — if you'd like to bring something, [Kid's name] has requested $10 in honor of their 10th birthday!" It's a cute ask, and considering it's hard to find a gift under $15 these days, it will save parents money for years. 

Most importantly, a key component of the ask is making it clear that gifts aren't expected. There are tons of ways to do this, and one parent shared they have taken various approaches, saying, "I've done, 'Please no physical gifts, kid is saving up for special X so a small donation towards X,' or 'In lieu of gift please donate to Y in kid's name! Your presence IS a present!" In fact, you can nix the ask altogether and throw a no-gifts party. Oftentimes, removing the expectation of physical gifts leads people who really want to give something to gift cash or gift cards anyway, and everyone else is let off the hook.