I Use Toys To Bribe My Kids And It Has Saved My Sanity

My kids, ages 9 to newborn, have more toys than they know what to do with. We don't store extra toys in the garage to switch out with the ones in their rooms for fun — we do it because there is literally not enough room in the house. They have stuffies, action figures, Lego bricks, Play-Doh, racing tracks, and who even knows what else. Despite it all, I am not above using new toys to bribe my kids — it's the only way to save my sanity!

It works like this: if my kids behave while grocery shopping, do their homework all week, or finish a chore list on Saturday, then they can pick out a new toy at the store. It's a whole experience — we drive to Target or Five Below, walk down the toy aisle (usually with a coffee for me), and buy something that falls in a pre-approved budget, around $5 to $10. 

Over the years, my kids have become experts at picking out the coolest things within their limit, from slime to puzzles, board games, and cheap toys that break the same day. Sometimes they leave disappointed in what they chose, as is life. Other times, they get home and ask if they can do more chores to earn enough for another toy, and who am I to complain about that? Encouraging them to work for what they want teaches them the value of a new toy. Maybe it's because I love shopping and buying special treats for myself so much, but I don't mind doing the same for my kids.

Rewards are a positive reinforcement tool that can promote good behavior. Sometimes, these rewards look like praise — "You did amazing at sharing with your brother!" Other times, they are special activities you can do together, like painting or letting them pick which family movie you watch. It's not always about new toys, although these are definitely part of my parenting arsenal.

I know what you're thinking: my kids are spoiled. And maybe they are a little, but I think rewarding them for the behavior we want to see and making chores and other boring responsibilities more fun is different from spoiling them. Trust me, nobody who saw my 7-year-old crying over a $1 toy ghost that I wouldn't let him have last weekend would believe that I love buying toys for my kids. But that doesn't mean they always get whatever they want — in my house, there's a difference between bribing and spoiling.

My husband and I don't reward every single chore they do. They have to keep their room cleaned, feed the dogs, and pick up after themselves with no extra prize or incentive. Studies have shown that rewarding kids' positive behavior can help them be more confident adults, especially when combined with positive interactions and encouragement from parents. We prioritize our connection and relationship with our kids, but like a carrot dangling in front of a horse, sometimes a new toy is the best way to motivate. Maybe we'll switch it up when they get older, but for now, if bribing our kids with toys helps their behavior and creates fun memories, then it's a win-win!