Extracurriculars For Kids Who Don't Like Competition

Once you enter the world of extracurriculars, it can feel like the pressure is on to find where your kid shines. The increasing competitiveness of youth sports is real, and anyone who has coached a kids' team will tell you that children experience competition in vastly different ways. Some happily join in, wholly unaware and unaffected by the pressure to compete. Others enjoy the will to win, even when the going gets tough. Then there are those kiddos who would rather avoid competition altogether, regardless of their skill sets or capabilities.

My kids fall into the last category. If yours do, too, know that there are plenty of activities that give them all the best parts of extracurriculars without the competition. You don't even have to sacrifice physical activity. Martial arts, rock climbing, dance, and gymnastics all offer the option to focus on skills development rather than winning. 

Scouts and 4H clubs are great for fostering a love of the great outdoors. Or, your artsy kiddo can try out a painting or sewing class, and your techie kid can join a robotics or coding club. Little performers can do drama, learn an instrument, or join a children's choir. Imaginative kids can join a role-playing game club (like age-appropriate versions of "Dungeons and Dragons"), and bookworms can join a book club — local libraries are great for both. Your kid will develop determination, self-confidence, and cooperation in any of these activities, and they can also experience the satisfaction of seeing a project to fruition, mastering a skill, and being part of a team.

In the search for the right activity for your non-competitive child, don't be surprised if it takes a while to find the right fit, or if a good fit doesn't last. Your child is always growing, learning, and developing, so expect that their interests, skills, and passions will, too. Keep an open mind and keep searching — you never know what will stick. As one parent said on Reddit, "[My daughter] took up circus (trapeze/silk/acrobatics) and she's just blossomed. The group acts, the emphasis on being entertaining, and the whimsy, is exactly what she needed."

As for when to let your kid call it quits, take it on a case-by-case basis. Setting an expectation from the outset around how long they need to give an activity before quitting can help older kids learn about commitment, but learning when to walk away is valuable, too. Getting curious about why they want to quit can help you navigate the right way to go. And remember, finding out that they hate an activity can be just as informative as discovering one they love!

Your competition-averse kid might just surprise you by becoming multi-passionate in the world of non-competitive extracurriculars. One parent posted on Reddit, "My daughter did musical theatre and dance. She also really likes art — painting, drawing, sculpture, sewing. She was into science and coding for quite a while, as well." Ultimately, extracurriculars are all about exposing your child to new activities and helping them discover what they enjoy doing. If you follow the fun, your kiddo will find the right activity for them.