How Soon Should You Try To Get Pregnant Again After A Miscarriage? It Depends

Miscarriage or failed pregnancy is a type of loss that ignites a vast range of emotions and can happen for many different reasons. Regardless of the cause, many women who miscarry still hope to have their own child in the future. Yet, deciding when you're physically and emotionally ready to conceive again while simultaneously hoping for a successful pregnancy is a complex process that varies from woman to woman.

When you're deciding on the ideal timing to conceive after a miscarriage, it's important to consider how your body was affected and when your miscarriage occurred, says Dr. Li-Shei Lin of Reproductive Partners Fertility Center in San Diego. If you had an uncomplicated miscarriage with no severe medical issues within the first 12 weeks (or the first trimester), Lin recommends waiting at least one full menstrual cycle to allow your body to recover and your uterine lining to return to normal. All of the previous pregnancy tissue should have passed. 

However, there are certain physical conditions women may experience in tandem with their recent miscarriage that need more time and attention. Lin notes that medical complications requiring additional testing include uncontrolled diabetes, thyroid dysfunction, and severe obesity. "Recurrent miscarriages, second-trimester losses, or medical complications deserve a more specific workup to find the causes and resolve the issues before trying to conceive again," she said. Not to mention, the emotional toll a miscarriage has on a woman's mental health is complex and nuanced, which can also affect the timing of subsequent pregnancies.

The emotional loss of a pregnancy can linger far longer than the physical effects of the miscarriage itself. Since miscarriage can induce feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and depression, it may take a short or much longer period of time to feel ready to try to become pregnant again. Jennifer Ramsey, a psychiatric nurse practitioner with Radial Health in South Carolina, says if the idea of becoming pregnant again ignites fear or panic, taking more time to heal is recommended. "Signs that one might be ready can include milestones such as when the emotional pain hurts less, the thought of being pregnant again brings excitement and hope before fear and grief, and one can feel their emotions when reminded of their loss rather than pushing them away," Ramsey said.

Kandace Ledergerber, a licensed professional counselor and owner of Soul Mission EMDR Therapy in Phoenix, experienced a pregnancy loss herself and says the trajectory of a woman's thoughts can indicate how she feels about trying again. "In my experience, readiness isn't always a destination that says you're done with the journey, but can look different than what most people expect," she said. "It's more like the grief and trauma side of things has been given space, and it doesn't feel like it's running the show any longer."

Once you decide to try for another baby, practicing self-compassion throughout your pregnancy is crucial, Kandace Ledergerber says. Getting pregnant after such a deep loss can provoke unexpected fear, guilt, and worst-case scenario concerns. "Pregnancy after loss often comes with a kind of low-grade hypervigilance," she said. "Every twinge of round ligament pain gets interpreted as a threat, which can send the brain into high alert." 

It's important to ensure you have reliable ways to navigate your emotions consistently. While Jennifer Ramsey suggests strategies like meditation and light exercise to calm the mind, Ledergerber recommends focusing on the present moment. "Remind yourself of what you know to be true right in this moment and what is factual — I am two weeks pregnant and had a positive pregnancy test. I am X weeks pregnant and the last ultrasound showed a heartbeat," Ledergerber said.

Most importantly, both suggest leaning on close friends and family members to help process any fears or anxieties that may come up during the next nine months. Mental health counseling can also offer support immediately after a pregnancy loss, as well as while you prepare for another baby, especially if any fears you may have begin to dominate your daily thoughts. Pregnancy is an emotional whirlwind all on its own. When you've experienced a miscarriage, ensuring you are ready before trying for another baby is a vital part of the process.